
o 
o 



^1 <."> 

* * « > 



Book .X-S-i . 



Title 



Imprint. 



19 l<? 



THREE OF THEM 

ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS AND 
HISTORICAL PICTURES 



y BY 

A^ CONAN DOYLE 

Author of 

"The Valley of Fear," "The Lost World, 

"His Last Bow," 

etc. 



NEW YORK 
GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY 



Copyright, 1919, 
By A. Conan DoyU 



©CLA5113S7 
Privted in the United States of America 

JAN 24 1919 



r^ 
c- 



f%'' 



,^A 



CHAPTER I 

ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND 

FROGS AND HISTORICAL 

PICTURES 



THERE are all sorts of types and moods of 
childish naughtiness, as every harassed 
parent knows. With these three particular little 
people the difference was quite marked. Laddie 
was rarely naughty, but if he was it was in a de- 
spairing, can't-help-it, very-sorry-but-you-will- 
have-to-put-up-with-it way which it was difficult 
to deal with. Dimples, on the contrary, was cold- 
blooded and deliberate, with a determined "I- 
will-now-do-some-mischufF" air, which invited 
spanking. Baby was seldom obstreperous, but it 
took her, when it did come, in an "I-don't-care- 
a-blow-for-anybody- and-I'm- going- to- kick my 
slipper-up-the-ceiling" delirium of wickedness 
which it was impossible to control, so that a dis- 

[3] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

tressed Lady and a secretly chuckling Daddy 
could only wait till the weather cleared. 

This is preliminary to the fact that Dimples 
had been exceedingly naughty in his own char- 
acteristic fashion upon the day under discussion. 
The truth was that he had been disappointed, and 
when that happened he usually ended by taking 
it out of some one. The disappointment was that 
in a too expansive moment Daddy had given him 
to understand that some day the tribe would 
gather in the dead of night and would burn down 
the chauffeur's cottage, with a rain of arrows di- 
rected all the while upon the windows and door. 
Dimples had prepared the bundles of straw, and 
now it had to be explained to him that Daddy 
had got a little beyond what was practical, and 
that the law had a fussy and unreasonable objec- 
tion to games of that kind. 

Then there was something else which had 
shaken his nerves up on the day before. It was 
a tragedy in three scenes. The first scene was 
that Dimples discovered a wasps' nest and stirred 
it up. The next was that a wasps' nest dis- 
covered Dimples and stirred him up. The third — 
well, the result of it was heard all over a quiet 
[4] 



AND HISTORICAL PICTURES 



country parish, for Dimples has the largest howl 
to the square inch that has ever been heard. So 
perhaps after such an experience there was some 
little excuse for his being contrary after all. 

But it took the queerest shape — like many of 
his vagaries — for his ways were original. It be- 
gan by sticking remarks of his own into his 
prayers, which were by no means of a humble or 
prayerful character. Thus he said, addressing 
his Maker, "Please make me a good boy— which 
I am!" At the dictation of his mother he said, 
"Please teach me self-control to others," and 
added, "please also teach others self-control to 
me." Finally he showed how much he needed 
this self-control by completely losing his temper, 
and charging in tears and furj^ with clenched 
teeth and raging fists, at Laddie, who looked with 
gentle contempt at tlie furious figure, and re- 
marked icily, "Do blow your nose!" which 
brought the charge to an ignominious halt. That 
was a touch of Laddie's knightly spirit, as cool, 
proud, and reserved before menace as he was 
soft and yielding to love. 

So the rascal was punished and dismissed to 
the garden, where he was to remain until he felt 

[5] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

chastened. Presently, however, his parents re- 
lented in the weak way they had, and strolled 
out into the garden to see the flowers, or the 
weather, or how the potatoes were coming on, or 
any excuse upon earth which would hide from 
each other their true purpose, which was to see 
how the exile was enduring his sufferings — each, 
of course, being perfectly aware all the time of 
the other's duplicity. There was no sign of the 
sinner, but presently, as they approached the 
little bush-girt pond, they heard a high, trem- 
ulous, childish voice. These were the words they 
heard : — 

"Once on a Cannibal Island dwelt 
A — dark — eyed — maid ' ' 

Daddy signalled caution, and the two grown- 
ups, as if they were playing Indian games them- 
selves, crept up to the bushes and looked over. It 
was a scene which each will remember. The child 
stood facing the pond, swinging his hand and 
nodding his head as he chanted : — 

"She turned very red and she snorted and said, 
'I wouldn't leave my little hut for you-oo-oo! 
I've got one lover, and I don't want two-oo-oo.' " 
[6] 



AND HISTORICAL PICTURES 



His eyes as he sang this weird ballad, which he 
had learned from his nurse, were so fixed and set, 
that it was easy to discover his audience. Six 
large frogs ^yere sitting head-on, with their gog- 
gle eyes turned upwards, on the grass margin of 
the pond. They looked absurdly like six rather 
overfed critics in the front row of the stalls. 

"Halloa!" said Daddy, coming round the cor- 
ner, and there were six flops in the water. The 
critics were gone. 

"Halloa!" said Dimples, cheerily. He never 
bore a grudge, even when he had to be whipped. 

"Singing to the frogs?" 

''And two water beetles," said Dimples, who 
had a curious control over animals. "There was 
a newt, but he wouldn't stay." 

"Do you think they liked it, dear?" asked the 
Lady, putting her arms round her prodigal. 

"Oh, yes, I know they liked it. They puff their 
throats in and out when they like things. I sang 
it right through twice." 

Baby and Laddie had appeared upon the scene. 
Baby was swollen with pride because she had 
been taken the day before to London to see what 
she called "an octopus" about her eyes. All day 

[7] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

she sat about in corners with a piece of glass, pre- 
tending to be "an octopus," and acting, as the 
true artist does, not to impress others, but for 
her own amusement in the demure, self-contained 
way which is characteristic. "Wriggly," her an- 
cient eider-down quilt fetish, was her absurd pa- 
tient, and now, up-ended in all sorts of grotesque 
angles, it was having its eyes examined. She 
had insisted upon taking it with her to London, 
but as it was a most disreputable rag she had to 
compromise that it go in a cardboard box. "Yes, 
dear, / enjoyed the journey, but Wriggly was so 
stuffy in the box !" With the extraordinary im- 
agination of young childhood she has rigged up 
quite a family tree of relations for this tattered 
quilt, mere names most of them, but very vivid 
all the same. Some days before the Lady had 
been somewhat taken aback to learn that Baby 
had been married the day before. "Yes, dear, I 
have married Wriggly's brother," she explained, 
and went about for some days with an air of great 
importance in honour of her invisible bridegroom. 
Allusion has been made in previous papers to 
the traces of racial stages which can be observed 
in the development of normal children : the animal 
[8] 



AND HISTORICAL PICTURES 



stage, the savage stage, the hunter, the scout, even 
the fetish worshipper. But there is one stage 
which may well puzzle the student, and that is the 
make-pretence stage. It is well marked, comes 
suddenly, goes suddenly, and is very strong while 
it lasts. During this time the child continually 
pretends to be this or that, taking the pretence 
very seriously, carrying out the part very thor- 
oughly, and showing wonderful ingenuity not 
only in its own playing of the role, but in the way 
in which at a moment's notice it will play up to 
the role of a companion, and find the right word. 
"I am the dog Crusoe," says Dimples. "Down, 
puppy, down!" says Laddie. In a moment each 
catches the spirit of the other. And their answers 
to objections come quick and sharp. "I am a 
thirty-foot rock snake," Laddie announced one 
day, and gravely acted the part till evening. 
"How in the world will you fit into your bed?" 
asked Daddy. "Oh, coil up, coil up!" said he. 

Now and then the absurdity of it overcomes 
them and you hear that pleasantest of sounds, the 
sincere laughter of a child. But as a rule they 
are as grave as judges — if you can still use such 
a simile. 

[9] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

On one occasion early in the war Laddie, who 
was then a very small boy, was seen standing 
about with a gloomy and malevolent air of maj- 
esty. "Who are you to-day, dear?" asked his 
mother. "I am the German Emperor." "Oh, 
dear," said the Lady, "I don't think Daddy will 
like that at all!" "Daddy! A mere common 
Enghshman!" said the Emperor. That was one 
of Laddie's naughty days and he was getting 
level in this fashion. With their nimble little wits 
they often, consciously or not, score off their 
elders. "What are you going to be when you 
grow up?" a sympathetic visitor asked Dimples. 
"Oh, I'll just do nothing, the same as Daddy," 
was the answer. 

If you want to study the strange, quick work- 
ings of the child-mind, get a book with interesting 
pictures which excite the imagination, and then 
ask the young students what they are. Daddy 
has an illustrated history of the ancient world 
which is a perpetual joy to both master and to 
pupils. It begins with Babylonian affairs, and 
then Assyrian, Egyptian, Grecian, and so on in 
the order of the great empires. The Three will 
sit in an absorbed circle upon the hearthrug look- 
[10] 



AND HISTORICAL PICTURES 



ing at the wall-carvings of their ancestors and 
speculating as to their meaning, while Daddy, 
overlooking them from his arm-chair, pretends to 
know a good deal more than he does. 

"What's this ?" he asks. The "this" happens to 
be a section of a neolithic grave, with skeleton and 
funeral pots in a circle all around it. 

The children gaze at it earnestly. 

"It's the inside of a Jumbo with a man he has 
eaten," says Dimples, with decision. 

"Jumbos don't eat men," says Laddie. "Jum- 
bos eat buns." 

"Pots," says Baby. She speaks seldom, but 
always with decision, and is usually right. 

"Yes, dear, pots. The man is dead and buried, 
and these are for his use in the next world. That 
was their idea in those days. Now, then, what 
is this?" 

"Uncle Remus sucking a wolf." 

"Romulus and Remus. They were the two 
children who grew up and built Rome. They 
were nursed by a wolf." 

"I wonder if they knew Mowgli?" said Lad- 
die. "He had a wolf for a mummy, too." 

"I'm jolly glad we've got a proper mummy," 

[u] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

said Dimples. "Fancy saying your prayers at 
night to a wolf! Wouldn't it be beastly?" 

"But they grew up very strong," said Daddy, 
"and they made such a wonderful city that in time 
it conquered the whole world." 

"But not England," said Laddie, stoutly. 

"Yes, England too." 

"Oo!" cried the children. 

"But not fairly," said Laddie. 

"Well, it was a good thing for England," said 
Daddy. "We were just painted savages and 
they taught us some sense. Now, boys, what is 
this?" 

It is surprising what a lot of information the 
eager little brains can pick up, if you make the 
thing a game instead of a task. They had seen 
some of these pictures before, and now they were 
off full cry, each capping the other. 

"That's where the Greeks play games." 

"Chariots run round that place." 

"That's a temple where God lived." 

"That's Babylon, and they had big stone 
shelves and gardens on them, and the houses were 
made of mud, and they are just heaps of dirt now, 
with dogs running about." 
[12] 



AND HISTORICAL PICTURES 



"That's the king's palace. That's him killing 
lions on the wall." 

"Now," said Daddy, "what's thatr 

It was certainly a puzzle. An Egyptian over- 
seer in a wall-painting was standing with his tab- 
lets telling off the work for a line of negro slaves. 
The arms were all held at strange angles. 

"It's one man boxing against six," said Lad- 
die. 

"It's a woman with six men that want to marry 
her," was Dimples' decision. Baby could only 
shake her little curly head. 

"Soldiers," said she. 

So they guessed and prattled as they turned 
over those fascinating leaves, now arguing about 
the cave-painting of a prehistoric savage, now the 
picture-writing of an Indian, now some strange 
dado taken from a Yucatan temple buried in 
primeval forest. Daddy leaned back and smoked 
and watched and listened in the gathering gloom 
of evening, while the firelight came and went on 
the eager features of the children. They were 
the very last buds at the end of the newest 
branches of the great tree of life. And here in 
this book they were gazing at the work of those 

[13] 



ABOUT NAUGHTINESS AND FROGS 

old, old flowers upon branches which had with- 
ered SO long ago. They too would work and 
they would pass, and there would come yet others, 
as far from us as we from Babylon, who would 
stare and guess and laugh when they saw the pic- 
tures of our little ships and aeroplanes and rude 
appliances for outwitting Nature. It was all 
working and working — and to what end? The 
life-urge was terrific and relentless and it pushed 
them always on. Monkey men crouching in a 
cave at one end — pure spirit, perhaps, at the 
other. There was more in Daddy's mind than 
he could tell the children as he looked at the three 
heads clustered over the old book before the fire. 



[14] 



